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INTERIOR LOVE AFFAIR

Self Love & Self Care

The Importance of a Soothing Night Routine

Nighttime can be your most feared time because you are alone with your worries, and you may have trouble unwinding and falling asleep. Alternatively, it can be one of your most favorite times as it can be the time where you get to relax, unwind, and soothe yourself. It can become the time where you expect nothing of yourself except to destress and feel good before you drift off to sleep.

A good night routine allows you to

  • clear your mind and mentally prepare for the next day

  • destress and unwind from the day’s events

  • disconnect from the rest of the world and from your worries

  • relax and soothe your body

  • prepare you for sleep

No matter how tough my day has been, no matter what crazy stress I’ve been under, overthinking and major anxiety included, when bedtime hits, and I take my hot shower, I put on my face cream, lotion and comfy pj’s, and then I hop into my bed with a book to read, I feel so good. I escape the rest of the world for the time being. I know I am free until the morning. I am not thinking of my problems. I am not worried about the day ahead.

While I am in the shower, I find myself thinking about things that I didn’t have a chance to fully process during the day. I am taking stock of my feelings, and mentally noting them to journal about in the morning. (Journaling every morning allows me to not overthink at night because I know I will be able to deal with the issue at hand once I pour it out into my journal the next day).

I then moisturize and do my skin care routine. I put on comfy pj’s so that I’m neither too hot or too cold, and thus I am comfortable enough to fall asleep. I get into my bed, and I grab one of the books I’m reading ( I always have a stack of 3 or 4 on my night table), and I read for 10-20 minutes. I find that reading helps me engage my mind in a way that is positive, rather then allow my worries or negative thinking to take over (which it otherwise will). I usually read something that I want to learn about, and thus I feel a sense of satisfaction from learning something new as well.

After I am done reading, I set my morning alarm on my phone, and I put it on Do Not Disturb. I will then put my phone down and hit the lights.

Placing your phone on DND is a game changer. It’s the key in allowing your mind to disconnect from the rest of the world. There is a time and a place for the world having access to you, and when you’re preparing for bed, that is definitely not one of those times. The time before bed, and the time after waking each morning is sacred. This is where you program your subconscious mind, which is what dictates most of what you do in your life. So you really want to filter what is allowed in to your energy and thoughts at these two times.

As I lay down to sleep, I do a body scan meditation, naming each body part while taking deep breaths. I also envision my body filling with white light. I do this for a few minutes until I feel satisfied with it.

I then practice gratitude for what’s going well in my life, and for the people and relationships I am thankful for. I also practice visualization at this time. None of this feels like a chore, because all of it feels really really good. It feels good to think about what’s going well in your life, and it feels even better to envision yourself getting what you desire.

All of this results in positive feelings before bed, and sleep comes much more easily then when negative thinking is your nighttime send off.

As I’ve mentioned in other posts as well as in my podcast (if you haven’t listened yet, check it out here), getting sufficient sleep will be one of the best things you ever do for yourself. A good night’s sleep really is a gift you give to yourself. It’s when your body does its natural restoration, healing, processing, and resets you for the next day. Waking up after a full night’s sleep is life changing. You will feel like a completely different person (in comparison to a constant lack of sleep), you will be more of your true self.

A good night’s sleep really is a gift you give to yourself.

This is also why, when my sleep is disturbed, I know something is up.

Sleep disturbance is one of the first signs that we are not doing OK, that something is going on and it’s taking a toll on us.

When this happens to me (and it has, believe me), I’ve learned to take this seriously, and to not ignore it. Just as we take having a headache seriously, or an upset stomach. We know something is wrong with our bodies, and we need to take care of it. When my sleep is disturbed, I know my mind is working on overdrive, trying to solve my problem for me, trying to figure out the best way to keep me safe, the best way to protect me from whatever I am fearing.

So what I’ve learned to do is address my thoughts and fears in my journal or by talking them out with a friend. This is essential in reducing the amount of worries that are cycling in our thoughts.

Part of self care is being present with ourselves, being our own caregiver, which means treating ourselves with love and respect, which also means nurturing ourselves in every way possible.

Nothing is random in your body, nothing is isolated. I don’t have a degree in nutrition or medicine (I do have one in psychology and education), but I do know that our bodies don’t lie. They tell us straight up what is going on within us. If we are stressed AF, our bodies will show it.

If we are anxious, our shoulders, upper back and neck will tense up, and we may experience pain in these areas, because we are taking short and shallow breaths (from panic), instead of deep, full breaths from our bellies (which are calming and soothing).

Our bodies are always telling us what is up. We can use this to our benefit by becoming aware of them.

By soothing yourself at night, you will not only intentionally return your body to calmness, this will in turn also calm your mind.

By calming your mind, you will experience less negative thinking, and thus less problems (your mind is what causes most of your problems).

By intentionally soothing yourself, you are in fact improving your wellbeing, and thus improving your life, over time.

How does being comfortable at night solve your problems?

Well, what you may not have realized yet, and what I’m here to share with you is, nothing we experience just happens out of the blue, or overnight.

Everything we experience we have attracted in, we have manifested, we have created. With our energy, with our thoughts, with our beliefs, with our minds.

So when we are in a constant state of stress, we are actively calling in more of that to our lives.

If you don’t believe in the law of attraction, let me put it to you like this.

When you are constantly wound up and under stress, you are in a negative thought pattern. And when you are in a negative thought pattern, that is the lens you have on. And through that lens, you are going to notice and see more of the negative things you have been thinking about. And you will not like these things, so you will take further negative actions to try to eliminate them. Actions such as complaining, blaming, arguing, forcing, hurting others, etc.

None of this feels good. and ultimately it adds to the stress you feel and the tension in your body, which adds to the problems in your life. This then becomes a viscous cycle where your negativity and problems snowball and continue to grow until they get so big that something breaks down, ie ) pains, illness, relationship problems, injuries.

By changing the way you love and care for yourself, by intentionally soothing yourself in healthy and not harmful ways, you can turn your wellbeing around. You can feel good inside. You can feel joy. You can feel calm.

By consciously unwinding and allowing yourself to detach from your worries before bed, you can return to the calm that is your body’s natural state. You can do something good for yourself, just be putting on some comfy pj’s and relaxing!

In my most trying times, getting comfortable at night was my saving grace. Even when the world felt like it was against me, I found safety in my soothing night routine.

I hope you can find some peace in creating a soothing night routine for yourself as well.

To recap,  a few keys to a soothing night routine are:

Remember not to force yourself into a rigid routine. Being hard on yourself is the opposite of what we want to accomplish here. Be gentle with yourself. The purpose of this is to increase our good feelings and lessen our stress, not the other way around. Start with one key aspect of a night routine. And if that feels good, stick to it. When you’re ready for more, try adding one more aspect. It’s not about being perfect at it, it’s about winding down, relaxing, and feeling good with yourself.

As always, if you have any questions or comments, please leave them below lovelies 💕.

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Hello! I’m Pavan

Welcome to my blog, Interior Love Affair! I'm here to help you with everything Self Love & Self Care. I'm a certified Life Coach, writer & blogger. Check out my tips on self love & home office styling. I hope you stay a while!

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You don’t have to keep giving your peace and pow You don’t have to keep giving your peace and power away, just because you once did. 

You’re allowed to change. 
You’re allowed to grow.

You are in charge of who and what you allow in and what you give away.

You don’t have to give your power away any more.
You can keep it for yourself.
It’s OK.
It’s OK if you no longer agree to things you once agreed to.
It’s OK if you no longer allow certain behaviour or treatment even though you once did.

You’re allowed to change.
You’re allowed to grow.

It’s actually more natural to evolve than it is to stay the same.

No one should hold you to who you once were if you no longer resonate with that version of you.

People who want you to stay the same are thinking of what they need from you, and what you provide them.

You don’t owe anyone your self improvement or your inner peace.

The people in your life should want you to grow and be the happiest version of yourself. 

You don’t have to give your power away anymore. You can keep it for yourself. It’s OK. It’s time.
You ARE ready for your next level, if you weren’ You ARE ready for your next level, if you weren’t, there would be no discomfort and you would be content where you are. 
The discomfort is the clash between the new version of you that your highest self has already become, and the old version of you that your physical self is still holding on to. 

It’s like a software update has been installed but you’re refusing to use it, still clinging on to the old version. 

Allow yourself to step into your upgrade. It’s already occurred, just stop fighting it and let it in. Give yourself permission to enjoy this uplevelled version of yourself. 💕
Sometimes we need to give ourselves a reality chec Sometimes we need to give ourselves a reality check and ask who is taking care of me?

It should be you lovely. 💕
You’re suffering because you think you should be You’re suffering because you think you should be further along than you are. But that’s now how it works, and that’s only causing you more pain. 
You are where you are and there’s beauty in every season in every part of your journey. 

You will get to where you want to be. There is no other choice.

Stop beating yourself up for not already being there.

You’re growing into the version of you that matches what you want.

This takes time.

This takes learning, and more importantly unlearning of the limiting beliefs and destructive habits that have kept you from being there already. 

You WILL get to where you’re going. 
Be easy on yourself along the way. Give yourself the kindness you deserve. 
You’re doing great. 
I’m proud of you lovely 💕
We can blame others all we want, but we are just a We can blame others all we want, but we are just as much a part of any relational dynamic we are in, as the other person. 
If the relationship matters to you, there is no shame in putting your ego aside and adjusting your mindset about this person. 
Sure you have every right and every valid reason for staying mad at this person or keeping them at a distance from you. 
But you’re only harming yourself. Because the truth of the matter is you clearly have love for this person, otherwise you would not give a care about them or what they were doing or not doing. The very fact it bothers you means there’s still something there and it would serve your best  interest if you were to accept that and align with the love that you feel in your heart. It would serve your best interest to shed the ego. Shed the “I’m right and you’re wrong”. That is a fool’s game. 
The truth is, you want peace. You want love. You want joy. 
Start letting that in. 
The way you treat and perceive the people who matter to you plays a big role in your happiness. 
Even if they are not at your level, you can still be the bigger person and give your love freely. That doesn’t just let them off the hook, it lets YOU off the hook. It sets you free. Resentment and anger are hurting you just as much, if not more, then they are hurting them. Allow yourself to forgive. So you can feel the love that’s in your heart, and so you can express it once again. Not expressing love hurts. Turning away from your heart hurts. Adjust your view of this person FOR you, for YOUR benefit. So you can finally be at peace with the situation and with yourself. ✨💕
Excerpt from my latest blog post. The fear you fee Excerpt from my latest blog post. The fear you feel surrounding your goals or desires is not evidence that you can’t get there. It’s just faulty thinking, an outdated mindset, that can be recognized, released and replaced. Read the rest of my blog post to get started on recognizing the faulty thinking that holds you back. ✨✨
You are worthy of everything you desire. Whether i You are worthy of everything you desire. Whether it’s a lifestyle change, a career, a relationship, or anything in between. The very fact that you want it means it exists for you. That it’s possible. Your work is to align with that version of yourself that feels worthy of it, that feels good having it. Your work is to become that version of yourself within your energy and your vibration. To only speak words that support you in your vision. To choose the thoughts that line up with your goal, and to ignore anything else that stands in your way. 
Keep focusing on the positive feelings and results you are already experiencing. That is the route to your goals. 
Check out my latest blog post “why you haven’t reached your goals” for more. Link in bio 💕✨
After the struggle and the storm comes the beautif After the struggle and the storm comes the beautiful new you who has accepted a hard truth, faced something difficult, or let go of something harmful that you had been holding on to for sometime. 

After the breakdown of the old you, comes the breakthrough of the new you.

It’s everything you’ve been waiting for. You just had to go through that storm to get here. 

If you’re still in the storm right now.
It’s OK. When you’re ready to let go of whatever you have a tight grip on, when you’re ready to see that you are still safe, that you are still loved, that you are still going to make it, you will let go. You will let go of the coping mechanisms that once kept you safe, but now only hinder you and your growth. You will let go and allow yourself to step into the evolution of who you have become, closer to who you really are, closer to your truth. You will let go and the storm will no longer be your downfall, it will be your uprising. Instead of fearing the fire, you will become the fire. 
When you are ready to let go, you will. ✨
Instead of what someone says to me or gives I car Instead of what someone says to me or gives 
I care about what they intend for me
Do they wish me well?
Do they want what’s best for me?
Do they care about my wellbeing?
About my happiness? About my heart?
That matters more to me then anything else.
If you’re in someone’s heart, you can feel it, taste it, smell it and touch it. 

And when you’re not, it’s quite evident, even when someone’s words may say otherwise. 

There’s something only energy can communicate. 

Pay attention to the vibes you get from people. That shit’s real.
Starting a self care routine is one thing, and lea Starting a self care routine is one thing, and learning to protect that time you make for yourself is another. 

Your self care time is sacred. 

And in this episode, I help you with how to set boundaries around your self care time so you can set yourself up for success, as well as specific phrases you can say to the people in your life who may want your time and energy at the same time when you need to care for yourself. 

I also discuss how the toxic relationships in your life will not be able to exist once your boundaries go up & it’s ok to not only prioritize your time with yourself but to expect the people in your life to support you in your wellness. 

Come have a listen! 

Available on Spotify & iTunes (link in bio).

#selflovepodcast #selflovejourney❤️ #selflovery #selflovejunkie #selfcaretipsandtricks #selfcarecoach #selfcarepodcast #selflovecoach #lifecoachforwomen #healthyboundaries #boundariesarebeautiful
No matter what is going on currently for you, you No matter what is going on currently for you, you can take some control back by taking charge of how your body feels. 

Every mood, every stressful experience we encounter all boils down to one thing, how our body reacts to it. 

When we are stressed, our body tenses up.

When we are calm, our body relaxes.

When we are facing extreme stress or fear, we can take some control over our experience by intentionally calming our bodies and thus calming our nervous system.

We mistakenly focus so much on the external and physical problem at hand, thinking that we have to solve it, or get rid of it in order to feel better. 

The reason you want to solve it so badly is so you can feel better. That is the end goal of any desire in life. In the having of it, you will better, the stress will diminish, and your body will relax.

So, if you can relax your body now, in this moment, you are way ahead of the problem, and very close to solving it, and likely with a much more effective solution then one you thought of while in a stressful state. 

How do you relax your body?

Put one hand on your belly, the other on your chest. 
Take slow, deep breaths, in through your nose (count to 4), hold for 4, and exhale through your mouth for 4.  Do this 6x and you will be in a completely different state. Try it it works! ✨
Set yourself free. You don’t owe anyone your hea Set yourself free. You don’t owe anyone your health, wealth, or wellness. 

Loving yourself and being happy with where you are in life, or working towards where you want to be, is an inside job. No one can do that for you, nor should you expect them to. Likewise, you cannot be expected to do that for another. 

We are all whole and need to come back in tune with our own wholeness to be satisfied with ourselves and our lives. 

Allow yourself to be happy and free. There is no guilt necessary. The people who truly care for you will want you to and support you the entire time.

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