Hello lovelies, I know you are here because you are also someone who is working on their personal fulfillment in life, and working on improving how you feel about yourself.
I am quite happy with who I am right now, and how I see myself. But this was not always the case. I was not self confident, self assured, or secure. I was by far, the very opposite of all of this.
I struggled with my mood and self worth on a daily basis. I was constantly feeling high levels of anxiety, and a lot of the time I experienced self loathing. I couldn’t stand some of the circumstances of my life and I was on a downward spiral of blame, misery, and hopelessness. I also often isolated myself from my family and friends, and most of my relationships suffered as a result.
I knew I needed to change something.
Nothing, and no one was able to fill the void I was feeling.
I longed for someone to make me feel understood.
I longed for someone to be my perfect person, who was always there for me, supported me emotionally, and validated what I was feeling and going through.
“I longed for someone to be my perfect person, who was always there for me, supported me emotionally, and validated what I was feeling and going through.”
But no one could fill those shoes, at least not as often as I needed.
I had wonderful people in my life. However, what I was asking for was too much for any one person to give me.
I had to learn to give this to myself.
I always knew this. But it was not an easy fix.
Throughout my life I learned that I was “too much”. I was “too sensitive”, and “too emotional”. I cried easily, and I carried hurt in my heart that other people did not understand or validate.
This is the part of me that I loathed. Why could I not be stronger? Why couldn’t I shrug things off easily like other people could? I was constantly comparing myself to the people in my life, trying hard to be like them, trying to do life how they did life.
But that was all wrong.
Until I learned to love the parts of me that I had been taught were unlovable, nothing changed.
When I started looking inwards instead of outwards, things began to turn around.
Things changed drastically after I became a parent. As a mother to small, innocent, helpless baby, I realized that no matter what this child, did, said, or felt, I would completely, and undeniably accept him, and love him with my whole heart. He deserved love, no matter what.
I realized, I too, was once this innocent and pure soul, and I too, deserved this kind of unconditional acceptance and undeniable love. We all do. Every person has good inside of them. I truly believe that.
And so I began the process of accepting myself. The good, the bad, and the sensitive.
There was nothing wrong with me. (I am not perfect, no one is, but I am not “too much”, I am not “too emotional”, and I am not “too sensitive”).
Overtime I learned that the the qualities I saw as flaws were actually my strengths.
My sensitive side is what allows me to be nurturing, empathetic, and genuinely concerned for the well being of others. I am introspective and creative, and this is who you see on this blog!
I cry easily because my heart is open, and I feel things very deeply. I would not change this for anything. I love this about myself.
I’ve evolved into the person I had longed to have in my life. And I feel stronger then I ever had dreamed possible.
I started really listening to myself, to my emotions.
I accepted who I was, and who I wasn’t.
I stopped trying to be like other people, and instead learned how to just be myself.
There is so much more to my story, which I hope to share with you one day, but for now, I am happy to share with you what sparked my discovery of self love. It’s been a beautiful journey. I hope this post helps you to see that you are not alone, and that change is possible for you as well. If I can turn things around, so can you. I truly believe that.