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INTERIOR LOVE AFFAIR

Self Love & Self Care•Wellness

My Road to Self Love

Hello lovelies, I know you are here because you are also someone who is working on their personal fulfillment in life, and working on improving how you feel about yourself.

I am quite happy with who I am right now, and how I see myself. But this was not always the case.  I was not self confident, self assured, or secure. I was by far, the very opposite of all of this.

I struggled with my mood and self worth on a daily basis. I was constantly feeling high levels of anxiety, and a lot of the time I experienced self loathing. I couldn’t stand some of the circumstances of my life and I was on a downward spiral of blame, misery, and hopelessness.  I also often isolated myself from my family and friends, and most of my relationships suffered as a result.

 

I knew I needed to change something.

Nothing, and no one was able to fill the void I was feeling.

I longed for someone to make me feel understood.

I longed for someone to be my  perfect person, who was always there for me, supported me emotionally, and validated what I was feeling and going through.

“I longed for someone to be my  perfect person, who was always there for me, supported me emotionally, and validated what I was feeling and going through.”

But no one could fill those shoes, at least not as often as I needed.

I had wonderful people in my life. However, what I was asking for was too much for any one person to give me.

I had to learn to give this to myself.

I always knew this. But it was not an easy fix.

Throughout my life I learned that I was “too much”. I was “too sensitive”, and “too emotional”. I cried easily, and I carried hurt in my heart that other people did not understand or validate.

This is the part of me that I loathed. Why could I not be stronger? Why couldn’t I shrug things off easily like other people could? I was constantly comparing myself to the people in my life, trying hard to be like them, trying to do life how they did life.

But that was all wrong.

Until I learned to love the parts of me that I had been taught were unlovable, nothing changed.

When I started looking inwards instead of outwards, things began to turn around.

 

Things changed drastically after I became a parent.  As a mother to small, innocent, helpless baby, I realized that no matter what this child, did, said, or felt, I would completely, and undeniably accept him, and love him with my whole heart.  He deserved love, no matter what.

I realized, I too, was once this innocent and pure soul, and I too, deserved this kind of unconditional acceptance and undeniable love. We all do. Every person has good inside of them. I truly believe that.

And so I began the process of accepting myself. The good, the bad, and the sensitive.

There was nothing wrong with me. (I am not perfect, no one is, but I am not “too much”, I am not “too emotional”, and I am not “too sensitive”).

Overtime I learned that the the qualities I saw as flaws were actually my strengths.

My sensitive side is what allows me to be nurturing, empathetic, and genuinely concerned for the well being of others. I am introspective and creative, and this is who you see on this blog!

I cry easily because my heart is open, and I feel things very deeply. I would not change this for anything. I love this about myself.

 

I’ve evolved into the person I had longed to have in my life. And I feel stronger then I ever had dreamed possible.

I started really listening to myself, to my emotions.

I accepted who I was, and who I wasn’t.

I stopped trying to be like other people, and instead learned how to just be myself.

There is so much more to my story, which I hope to share with you one day, but for now, I am happy to share with you what sparked my discovery of self love. It’s been a beautiful journey. I  hope this post helps you to see that you are not alone, and that change is possible for you as well. If I can turn things around, so can you. I truly believe that.

Sending you love and light my friends,

 

 

 

 

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Hello! I’m Pavan

Welcome to my blog, Interior Love Affair! I'm here to help you with everything Self Love & Self Care. I'm a certified Life Coach, writer & blogger. Check out my tips on self love & home office styling. I hope you stay a while!

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You don’t have to keep giving your peace and pow You don’t have to keep giving your peace and power away, just because you once did. 

You’re allowed to change. 
You’re allowed to grow.

You are in charge of who and what you allow in and what you give away.

You don’t have to give your power away any more.
You can keep it for yourself.
It’s OK.
It’s OK if you no longer agree to things you once agreed to.
It’s OK if you no longer allow certain behaviour or treatment even though you once did.

You’re allowed to change.
You’re allowed to grow.

It’s actually more natural to evolve than it is to stay the same.

No one should hold you to who you once were if you no longer resonate with that version of you.

People who want you to stay the same are thinking of what they need from you, and what you provide them.

You don’t owe anyone your self improvement or your inner peace.

The people in your life should want you to grow and be the happiest version of yourself. 

You don’t have to give your power away anymore. You can keep it for yourself. It’s OK. It’s time.
You ARE ready for your next level, if you weren’ You ARE ready for your next level, if you weren’t, there would be no discomfort and you would be content where you are. 
The discomfort is the clash between the new version of you that your highest self has already become, and the old version of you that your physical self is still holding on to. 

It’s like a software update has been installed but you’re refusing to use it, still clinging on to the old version. 

Allow yourself to step into your upgrade. It’s already occurred, just stop fighting it and let it in. Give yourself permission to enjoy this uplevelled version of yourself. 💕
Sometimes we need to give ourselves a reality chec Sometimes we need to give ourselves a reality check and ask who is taking care of me?

It should be you lovely. 💕
You’re suffering because you think you should be You’re suffering because you think you should be further along than you are. But that’s now how it works, and that’s only causing you more pain. 
You are where you are and there’s beauty in every season in every part of your journey. 

You will get to where you want to be. There is no other choice.

Stop beating yourself up for not already being there.

You’re growing into the version of you that matches what you want.

This takes time.

This takes learning, and more importantly unlearning of the limiting beliefs and destructive habits that have kept you from being there already. 

You WILL get to where you’re going. 
Be easy on yourself along the way. Give yourself the kindness you deserve. 
You’re doing great. 
I’m proud of you lovely 💕
We can blame others all we want, but we are just a We can blame others all we want, but we are just as much a part of any relational dynamic we are in, as the other person. 
If the relationship matters to you, there is no shame in putting your ego aside and adjusting your mindset about this person. 
Sure you have every right and every valid reason for staying mad at this person or keeping them at a distance from you. 
But you’re only harming yourself. Because the truth of the matter is you clearly have love for this person, otherwise you would not give a care about them or what they were doing or not doing. The very fact it bothers you means there’s still something there and it would serve your best  interest if you were to accept that and align with the love that you feel in your heart. It would serve your best interest to shed the ego. Shed the “I’m right and you’re wrong”. That is a fool’s game. 
The truth is, you want peace. You want love. You want joy. 
Start letting that in. 
The way you treat and perceive the people who matter to you plays a big role in your happiness. 
Even if they are not at your level, you can still be the bigger person and give your love freely. That doesn’t just let them off the hook, it lets YOU off the hook. It sets you free. Resentment and anger are hurting you just as much, if not more, then they are hurting them. Allow yourself to forgive. So you can feel the love that’s in your heart, and so you can express it once again. Not expressing love hurts. Turning away from your heart hurts. Adjust your view of this person FOR you, for YOUR benefit. So you can finally be at peace with the situation and with yourself. ✨💕
Excerpt from my latest blog post. The fear you fee Excerpt from my latest blog post. The fear you feel surrounding your goals or desires is not evidence that you can’t get there. It’s just faulty thinking, an outdated mindset, that can be recognized, released and replaced. Read the rest of my blog post to get started on recognizing the faulty thinking that holds you back. ✨✨
You are worthy of everything you desire. Whether i You are worthy of everything you desire. Whether it’s a lifestyle change, a career, a relationship, or anything in between. The very fact that you want it means it exists for you. That it’s possible. Your work is to align with that version of yourself that feels worthy of it, that feels good having it. Your work is to become that version of yourself within your energy and your vibration. To only speak words that support you in your vision. To choose the thoughts that line up with your goal, and to ignore anything else that stands in your way. 
Keep focusing on the positive feelings and results you are already experiencing. That is the route to your goals. 
Check out my latest blog post “why you haven’t reached your goals” for more. Link in bio 💕✨
After the struggle and the storm comes the beautif After the struggle and the storm comes the beautiful new you who has accepted a hard truth, faced something difficult, or let go of something harmful that you had been holding on to for sometime. 

After the breakdown of the old you, comes the breakthrough of the new you.

It’s everything you’ve been waiting for. You just had to go through that storm to get here. 

If you’re still in the storm right now.
It’s OK. When you’re ready to let go of whatever you have a tight grip on, when you’re ready to see that you are still safe, that you are still loved, that you are still going to make it, you will let go. You will let go of the coping mechanisms that once kept you safe, but now only hinder you and your growth. You will let go and allow yourself to step into the evolution of who you have become, closer to who you really are, closer to your truth. You will let go and the storm will no longer be your downfall, it will be your uprising. Instead of fearing the fire, you will become the fire. 
When you are ready to let go, you will. ✨
Instead of what someone says to me or gives I car Instead of what someone says to me or gives 
I care about what they intend for me
Do they wish me well?
Do they want what’s best for me?
Do they care about my wellbeing?
About my happiness? About my heart?
That matters more to me then anything else.
If you’re in someone’s heart, you can feel it, taste it, smell it and touch it. 

And when you’re not, it’s quite evident, even when someone’s words may say otherwise. 

There’s something only energy can communicate. 

Pay attention to the vibes you get from people. That shit’s real.
Starting a self care routine is one thing, and lea Starting a self care routine is one thing, and learning to protect that time you make for yourself is another. 

Your self care time is sacred. 

And in this episode, I help you with how to set boundaries around your self care time so you can set yourself up for success, as well as specific phrases you can say to the people in your life who may want your time and energy at the same time when you need to care for yourself. 

I also discuss how the toxic relationships in your life will not be able to exist once your boundaries go up & it’s ok to not only prioritize your time with yourself but to expect the people in your life to support you in your wellness. 

Come have a listen! 

Available on Spotify & iTunes (link in bio).

#selflovepodcast #selflovejourney❤️ #selflovery #selflovejunkie #selfcaretipsandtricks #selfcarecoach #selfcarepodcast #selflovecoach #lifecoachforwomen #healthyboundaries #boundariesarebeautiful
No matter what is going on currently for you, you No matter what is going on currently for you, you can take some control back by taking charge of how your body feels. 

Every mood, every stressful experience we encounter all boils down to one thing, how our body reacts to it. 

When we are stressed, our body tenses up.

When we are calm, our body relaxes.

When we are facing extreme stress or fear, we can take some control over our experience by intentionally calming our bodies and thus calming our nervous system.

We mistakenly focus so much on the external and physical problem at hand, thinking that we have to solve it, or get rid of it in order to feel better. 

The reason you want to solve it so badly is so you can feel better. That is the end goal of any desire in life. In the having of it, you will better, the stress will diminish, and your body will relax.

So, if you can relax your body now, in this moment, you are way ahead of the problem, and very close to solving it, and likely with a much more effective solution then one you thought of while in a stressful state. 

How do you relax your body?

Put one hand on your belly, the other on your chest. 
Take slow, deep breaths, in through your nose (count to 4), hold for 4, and exhale through your mouth for 4.  Do this 6x and you will be in a completely different state. Try it it works! ✨
Set yourself free. You don’t owe anyone your hea Set yourself free. You don’t owe anyone your health, wealth, or wellness. 

Loving yourself and being happy with where you are in life, or working towards where you want to be, is an inside job. No one can do that for you, nor should you expect them to. Likewise, you cannot be expected to do that for another. 

We are all whole and need to come back in tune with our own wholeness to be satisfied with ourselves and our lives. 

Allow yourself to be happy and free. There is no guilt necessary. The people who truly care for you will want you to and support you the entire time.

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