INTERIOR LOVE AFFAIR

Hello my loves,

I hope you are doing beautifully and enjoying the wonderful person you are.

I wanted to take a moment and share with you this amazing realization I had:

I am living out my dream.

What once felt like I was playing, I was pretending, forcing or even faking….now is my lived reality. What I once daydreamed about and hoped and wished for in a distant future, now exists as my present experience.

I started this writing, coaching, speaking journey, as a dream. As a possibility. As a creative outlet. Logic told me nothing would happen. Fear told me to stop. But my soul kept whispering to me and calling me back to it.

I’m so glad I listened.

I love this work. I love this world. I love what I do, I love who I am.

And this wasn’t always the case.

There was a time when I didn’t like myself. When I looked at myself in the mirror and cried, not at my physical appearance, but at who was standing in front of it. The person I no longer recognized, the version of me I didn’t want to be. I remember feeling angry, lost, confused, because I spent most of my energy repressing who I really was, and forcing myself to be what everyone wanted me to be.

This caused a terrible storm inside of me which constantly showed in my daily life. In my relationships, in my work life, and in my health and wellbeing.

I remember visiting with a counsellor who told me I had generalized anxiety disorder. She gave me books and resources and suggested I treat the anxiety with the practices suggested in the book as well as take vitamins and supplements that were good for mental health.  She said there was no particular reason for my anxiety, but I was just anxious in general.

While this helped, and improved things for a while, it didn’t get down to the root of my unhappiness. Because my fundamental assumption was still flawed. It was that something is wrong with me. I am broken. Who I am is flawed. I am not lovable as I am. I need to fix myself to be enough.

Boy was I wrong.

Through much introspection and self compassion, I was able t0 arrive at a monumental truth. That nothing was wrong with me. That I didn’t have generalized anxiety. I was experiencing anxiety because I had been telling myself lies. I was telling myself false truths and believing them. I had been listening to other people’s opinions of me and internalizing them. I was seeing myself through an external lens instead of through my internal knowing that who I was.

This was also about the time I realized that my environment was making me sick. I was looking to my environment for sustenance and love and I wasn’t getting it. So instead, I began to turn inward and give that to myself.

I realized that the anxiety I felt was from the choices I had made that didn’t align with who I was, what I truly felt, and what I truly wanted.

I started being honest with myself. I started holding myself accountable for my life choices instead of blaming the other people involved.

I started understanding what my emotions meant and stopped treating them as unwelcome invaders.

This is when my self love era began.

I changed my inner environment, and eventually outer environment evolved to match that. But the first improvement that happened, and the most significant one, was that I felt better. I felt like me.

I want you to feel like you too.

Not like someone else.

Not what other people expect you to be.

But who you know inside, you truly are.

That beautiful soul that came into this world to shine her light.

To love herself and this world.

To share her beautiful existence with those around her.

I want to help you to return to her.

She’s always been inside of you, and always will be.

Your true self never leaves you, and in fact never has.

It’s been her voice you’ve heard whisper to you, held you steady in the storms and embraced you when you felt alone.

You were never truly alone. You were just looking  outside of yourself for the love you always had flowing through you within.

It’s just a matter of tuning into it. To bringing into your awareness.

I do this for myself every single morning with my morning rituals. I spend time in this sacred space where I can hear myself think, I can feel my higher self. I can receive my intuition and life’s direction.

I spend my day slowing down and settling in a pace that keeps me regulated and calm. I use self soothing techniques such as deep breathing and mindfulness to bring me back to safety when I feel thrown off. I listen to my body as the day unfolds, and I honour what needs come up.

I rest when needed, I support myself with love and grace. I speak to myself in a loving and kind manner. I forgive myself for my mistakes and learn from them instead of dwelling in them.

I end my day with a calming night routine where I decompress, unwind, and recall what went well for me in the last 24 hours.

I tend to my heart and mind and care about how I feel.

All of this has led to me transforming into who I am today.

A person who loves herself, knows herself, and cares about herself.

A person who follows her inner guidance, trusts the Universe, and expresses her love freely.

I changed my life by taking care of myself. By taking care of myself I learned to listen to my inner voice. By listening to my inner voice I found my calling, or more accurately, my calling found me.

I didn’t write this post to convince you to find your calling. Rather to inspire you to stop running away from who you truly are, and instead begin returning home to them.

This is what I’m here to help you with. In any way that I can.

Please reach out for personal support. I offer 1:1 coaching for everything related to improving yourself and your life.

I also have a library of podcast episodes to support you along your journey; particular episodes that come to mind are You are Important, You Have Value, & Self Care Is not Selfish.

In my book The Power of Self Care, I teach you how to live your life focused on yourself and your wellbeing, so that you transform yourself from the inside out.

In my latest creation, I Already Have It : A Guide to Embodying Your Desired Reality, I teach you how to manifest and  become the version of you who lives out her dreams.

All of these are here for you to help you along your way –

Sending you all of my love and light,